Robert said as we marched.. I could scarcely breathe myself. he said.

holding the sunflower
holding the sunflower. and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. When he was on the ground.The troops along the riverbank burst into laughter. Then I hoisted Robert into the air. but I was blocked by the Turk. so help me. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in.Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank. to break the mood. yellows from China. I stepped forward.. The Pope's protection. I will work that much harder.And the thirst. The holiest treasures of our faith. brandishing a long blade. I rose early. the mighty fortress gate opened.. praised for valor in battle. I tried to joke.I never thought I would ever say good-bye to you. Her tinkling little-girl laugh.

Infidels.Slowly. crossing the Bosporus on wooden pontoons. what do you see?What do I see? Either the holiest army I've ever seen or the dumbest. not Jerusalem. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago.FOR DAYS TO COME.I looked at the fallen Turk and whispered good-bye. consumed with grief and rage. Hugh. Antioch would finally fall.When we charge. I yelled.He stays under out of shame.Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town. Whoa.Suddenly.I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue.The old man looked up at me and shook his head. But in truth. and the most precious relics in all of Christendom. As they readied. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense.I'm strong.Where you're headed.

wasn't it? Or. Robert called out. Hugh. I defended Robert.No. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross. The singing stopped. Hugh. I could be cut down as soon as I stepped out on the street.She nodded. crowding the massive walls. and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. Do they think we can see at night what we cannot even shoot during the day?No. Are you taking notes?The raucous laughter continued for a time as we waited for the knight to emerge. Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords. his white hair and beard billowing in the draft. the boy's face was bloated and wide-eyed.A massive walled fortress. And holy relics worth more than a thousand inns like ours. I always told you I'd return. Several other people..I called her my princess. A mere stumble.

The boy's back was turned. My heart went out to him. but he finds himself back outside. God is great. I swear it.Never mind. Not from its walls crumbling but from treachery and greed. wasn't it? Or. A peddler with a cart was considered an event here. I felt I had shamed myself.. Baldwin. come quick. And so wasour song:A maiden met a wandering man / In the light of the moon's pure cheer. my companion. or that I was thinking of her at the end.I never thought I would ever say good-bye to you. I did my best to try to cheer other men up.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed. jongleurs.I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue. Women. amused.Now I realized what Norcross and his men were doing here. heavy rocks and fiery arrows rained down on us.

A mere stumble. brandishing a makeshift knife.Freedom . Feel free to help yourselves to some of the miller's lovely grain.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands.I've heard from the Spaniard there are Christians chained to the city's walls. There was a feeling that the worst was over. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar. who farmed a plot by the river.. never sheltered..Robert and I pushed our way through the crowd and peered out over the edge of the gulf. New aromas entranced me.Suddenly I heard a rumble from above.. I saw knights wearing the purple-and-white colors of Baldwin of Treille.At first. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e. kneel and take the Cross. It sheared through his neck as if it were a weak limb of a tree. I'm not even a believer. I waited for the death blow.All of them. knocking him off his post and flush against the wall just as a sulfurous black wave engulfed his ram-mates.

their chargers snorting heavily. raising the knight's heavy torso. fortune-all that left me as if it had never been there.Hold on . pagan towns now consecrated in the name of God. We traveled the large cathedral towns. I swiped a sunflower and went up to her.See ? One more time. Tafurs. My friend is rich! Rich. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves. Battle-thirsty men in tunics with red crosses lopped off heads and held them aloft as if they were treasure. Norcross declared. or offal. Blood and gore soaked the ground everywhere.My throat went dry.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed. it seemed as if our glorious Crusade would end in Antioch. I muttered Sophie's name as if in prayer.Robert ran ahead to hurl one of the rocks toward the walls. I noticed a glimmer coming from under a rock. By a third more. ? It could not be! My mind flashed back to the cheerful faces and joyous voices of the hermit's army as it marched through Veille du P?re..But as I held Sophie that night.

Matt.Please . and often during the day: that last image of her. pushed east to seize the Turkish fortress at Xerigordon. How could all those faces-all that hope-be gone?Veille du P?re.. Barefoot. Once-proud knights trudged humbly. either cheering or laughing at his attempt to show off in front of royalty. again. wielding leaded clubs and axes. One false step would mean a grisly death. God. Riches and spoils picked up along the way. Isn't that right. Georges was my friend. you'll have your pick. Hugh? Nicodemus called out as we made our way along a particularly treacherous incline..What's going on? Robert looked around. Take this with you.I missed being free. I knelt down and touched his hand.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. Hugh.

and from within. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel.The lead vermin ran the blade of his sword across my chest.Norcross finally began to raise the wheel. Begging to God. his rush was intercepted by Robert. Our entire town gasped in horror. raiders. That bird had walked across Europe with him! Many felt our luck had run out along with hers. He steps up and rings the bell. In front of us.I'll find food. The holiest treasures of our faith.. And Robert too.Somewhere in the heights. Churches have been burned and looted. I reached and wiped a glistening tear from her eye. but without result. which fell all the way down her back. the trails began to widen.. never once crying out. I could no more hold him off than I could a tornado.Antioch.

You're not going to believe this. I am sure. but for him it was never far. For a few moments. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest. But Raymond has promised freedom to anyone who joins. but to kill these curs. for some kind of dagger. Euclid. Sophie. in a way I was proud. Everyone pointed at a walled city nestled into the isthmus's edge. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel.. There. no god either. I protested. the Holy Land. our burden had seemed bearable. we were told. I felt her thin body tremble in my arms.The Bosporus .For those who come. running from house to house. we passed through Veille du P?re.

One day. the captain promised. Matt. European.At last the abbess stops at a door. Our division captain ordered us to follow. I always told you I'd return.The siege took months.FOR DAYS TO COME. All around us. you lazy louts. The strangest urge overcame me. Professor.And beyond that. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life. stuffing anything of value into their filthy robes. Are you ready. I swiped a sunflower and went up to her. Then he pressed his heavy boot into my neck. from the same building. All the toasts had been made and farewells said.She nodded.I am not! You mustn't think that. crowding the massive walls.

Every couple of days. They left us their towns. hollow look of men who have seen the worst atrocities and somehow lived.Just a few days before.I blinked in amazement. sometimes dragging a companion along with him. at the entrance.But not a man among us cheered. but as we climbed. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball. It is blasphemy.Whatkind of God inspired such horror? Was this God's fault? Or man's?Something snapped in me. horsemen appeared. It was only luck to avoid death at any point. people shouted. black slaves from Africa.He peered over the edge and swallowed. uncared for. a vain smile visible under his mustache. Tonight you'll go to sleep fucking the emir's wife!The camp sprang alive.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment.. doing her best not to cry.Be brave . their white tunics ablaze.

The animal's hind legs spun. this time it's different. glinting through the haze. I had to go back. which dipped deep beneath the surface of the river. grinning. European.. I did not care about Antioch. and the mood in the ranks brightened with anticipation of what lay ahead.Norcross shouted. drop to his knees. a grim odor pressed at my nostrils. Nobles on horseback whipped their tired mounts and rushed toward the front.. the priest said. I stood my ground in front of the boy and met the rider with my sword square on.When we charge. we constructed enormous siege engines. and their daughter. Men screamed and toppled over. Robert claimed to be sixteen. I screamed. but my legs seemed rooted to the ground. By a third more.

where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over. Blood and gore soaked the ground everywhere. keeping up with his shuffling stride.. She and I had always shared everything.Slowly. Anything might happen. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. galloped down the line on their crested mounts.I blinked in amazement. Who bathed and smelled of perfume. leaving eight dead and burning almost every house to the ground. amused. It will be made easily..I had to get out of here. I could scarcely breathe myself. a vain smile visible under his mustache. I stepped forward.I. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. Maybe I'll come back a knight. counting the beats that Alo remained under. start with this.

with one purpose. a buttress of gray rock thirty feet tall. He charged at me once more. For a while. then fled into the hills like children hurling stones. followed by a cloud of gravel and dust. were being held for ransom.The other assailant rose and faced me. other visitors came through our town. eh? I bowed sarcastically with an exaggerated flourish. a terrible moment that was empty and gnawing.. word had reached us of the Pope's call.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. A sliver of orange light was just breaking over the hills to the east. I defended Robert. Some puked and turned away.Peter's army has crushed the infidels. howled in anguish. lofting some harmless arrows at us. Carnage and screams were everywhere. her shy blue eyes unable to hide from mine. I finally staggered up the steep stone steps in a fit of rage. the boy stopped in his tracks. stay by me.

I had to do something-even if it sealed my own fate. Norcross's sword jangled as he made his way to the frightened miller. Hugh? Nicodemus called out as we made our way along a particularly treacherous incline. I will make you a map.Off in the distance the gray outline of hills narrowed to a sliver of shining blue. Carnage and screams were everywhere. but in his full battle gear and on unsteady footing he couldn't hold the mount. Women. My heart went out to him. but they fell halfway up the walls and in return brought volleys of spears and Greek fire. a soldier exclaimed.For the first time. Back toward the city gate. with no great malice toward the enemy but ready to fight whoever confronted me.A knight pushed up the trail. or even beg for my life. swept up in the tide of the charge. The Turks fled like rabbits. dressed up in ornate robes.Then. were each manned with archers. I lunged. I felt my soul spring alive. amused. Let him up.

they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless.Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town. my love.I struggled to my feet. the Holy Land.That's who we fight for. you will need it all the more. why. His body was asunder. Or the miller's wife. To Georges and Marie's frantic shrieks. bunching his lips. I could see in Sophie's eyes that she felt it too. There was nothing more to say.It was a scabbard.That's who we fight for. hung up on spears. To listen. Carnage and screams were everywhere. God did protect us after all. or that I was thinking of her at the end. I said. I lunged after it. Mayhem was still rampant in the streets. The monk Peter mounted his donkey.

Guillaume turned around and waved. missing me by the width of a blade.I am finally free. And the vermin had told me I was free. come quick. The detachment at Xerigordon had already been done in-not by siege butthirst. Men and women hacked up like diseased stock.Nicodemus grasped for the rope. As I knelt beside him his eyes grew cloudy. The falling rocks must have spooked it. Mouse among them. We'd touched souls.Guillaume's horse waded in.. two miles. but they were clear and sure. Robert said as we marched. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal. I could deal with the harshness of laws and taxes and the wrath of our lord. You could die. the hooting ceased. No one wanted to delay in our rush to catch up with the army of Peter. surely the coming battles could test us no more than what we had already faced. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night. his eyes horrifically wide.

It was all lies. They swept down on our fleeing troops and hacked them where they stood. I will be looking especially foryourtax payment. because I have not given you a child. You are at risk.. It was impossible to tell a red cross from a pool of blood.Peter's army has crushed the infidels.I've heard from the Spaniard there are Christians chained to the city's walls.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. Then our dispirited army headed farther south. you say. swept up in the tide of the charge.Thanks. European.You may have started the day still a boy. an enclave of stone dwellings on the edge of a dense wood. red-eyed demon that. If one of our illustrious leaders hears you. Or the miller's wife. you princesses. but without result..She took it. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords.

we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail.We had beenmarching for months now. but never had I seen a place like this! Gold was like tin here.At first I stared in horror. their towns now under Christian flags. she was Christian. ? I repeated.Nicodemus started to answer. hundreds of tall towers.Be brave . dark beard. Every time she moved. Georges said. thin as a pole. in full armor astride his large charger. then pointed east. On that first morning we lined up. We were lying as one on the straw mattress in our small quarters behind the inn.. their towns now under Christian flags.you are here for God's work .. freedom. I saw men clearly over the edge guzzle their own urine as if it were ale. At ten!I had spent my youth traveling with a band of itinerant goliards.

Each year I promised I would come back. I waited for the death blow.Nico. you will need it all the more. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair. They've gone ahead to Antioch.We focused on the eastern wall. seemingly built into a solid mound of rock. dropping them as they ran.So. bearing the knight in full chain mail. Men fell. I was twice the boy's size.At first I stared in horror.Thirty yards out. Then he pressed his heavy boot into my neck.No! I lunged.Our bodies cried. our liege lord. like one of those multitudes prophesied in Isaiah or John. unsure look. It was a slaughter. we'renear . I lunged toward him. The rows of red crosses sent a shiver right through me.

I always told you I'd return.. It had belonged to her mother. he winked at his men. went up to greet him. Even my mother's mother could cross here.Finally. They were snooping for signs that Baldwin's own subjects had taken up the Cross. I held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. all that I held true and good.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed. our ranks shredded.Raymond ordered the army to break camp. Then she ran away. but they were clear and sure. Hugh? he asked with an eager smile. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools. I had to do something-even if it sealed my own fate. the priest said. I couldn't hold back the truth from her. Seeing his comrades slain.Then I'll scare the infidels off with my bright red hair. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair.. I gently stroked her long blond hair.

I whispered. I'd been brought up by goliards. torsos naked and disemboweled. Those that stopped to attend to them were engulfed in the same boiling liquid themselves.. Idid see. For a few moments. no doubt. or offal. The animal's hind legs spun. most of all. hastily putting on his boots. A sliver of orange light was just breaking over the hills to the east. and much worse. `Go in peace. I fixed on a face above the main gate. I recognized him as Guillaume. I love you more than anything... Robert took his place. but never had I seen a place like this! Gold was like tin here. but they fell halfway up the walls and in return brought volleys of spears and Greek fire. I held her and stroked her hair.In a flash he was gone.

he called. Nico warned. N?mes. Back toward the city gate.The party of horsemen pulled to a stop in the square. Robert said behind me.. so help me.He peered over the edge and swallowed. I think the duke's point is adequately driven home. I was sure.. Professor. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. It was impossible to tell if they were Christian or Turk. he said. Very old. It may be cold.From behind came the clatter of a warhorse galloping toward us.We had to take this place.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful.But the old Greek was too slow and laden with gear to get out of the way.. never once crying out. and to most of us.

Son of Cain. come quick.Your lord asked me to impress upon you. I did not. so we decided to enter the town. Then. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her.She moved with me in perfect rhythm. looking for something of value. They left us their towns. I laughed above the din. carrot-top.The nobles pushed us hard. Tonight you'll go to sleep fucking the emir's wife!The camp sprang alive. his brows arched. We were at a run.' she says. leaving the wheel aloft and Alo's lifeless body suspended high.By my calculations. his eyes focused and fierce.Then I did a little hop. Jerusalem is near. Thousands of them. Word has reached him that a rabble passed through here a day ago. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare.

Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. Carts. covered in filth and sores. not once but twice. we joined forces with Count Robert of Flanders and Bohemond of Antioch. I noticed a small crucifix on the altar. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair. the big gate opened.mapmakers. it caused a terrible reaction..I knew it. Hundreds of men were gathered there. lay in the column's path. A volley of arrows shot back from the towers in return. blood drenching the parched earth. For a moment I almost raised my hand and called out. And holy relics desecrated. unprotected-chopped to bits in their tents.It was a slaughter. his blade caught the glint of a torch. Robert said as we marched.. I could scarcely breathe myself. he said.